Wine: When the Solution Becomes the Problem

“To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to all of life’s problems!” - Homer Simpson

If you’ve found yourself pouring a glass of wine to decompress, then counting how many you’ve had and feeling that familiar wash of guilt - you are so not alone. So many of us have suffered in silence with this secret worry about our drinking. It’s time to address it! 

Evaluating your relationship with alcohol isn’t about shaming yourself. It’s about understanding that the journey of motherhood is messy, complicated, and hard. And sometimes, it feels like that glass of wine is the only thing keeping you sane - until it doesn’t. 

The pressure put on moms is intense. We're expected to do so much, often with little support. The sheer volume of parenting advice is overwhelming - not to mention it's often conflicting. It's SO easy to turn to alcohol to quiet the noise and decompress. We’ve been told our whole lives that alcohol is great for this, so why wouldn’t we believe it?

The turning point

At some point, you’ve likely heard a voice somewhere deep inside that’s asking if your relationship with alcohol is healthy. But you likely quiet that voice with another glass of wine. Everybody else is drinking - it’s “normal.” 

Maybe you often have more drinks than you intended. But you’re not getting drunk, you’re still being a great mom and getting everything done. You deserve it, right?

But something isn’t sitting right. And your anxiety continues to increase. You attribute it to motherhood, but is that all it is?

If that inner voice keeps coming back to your drinking, it might be time to sit with it. 

Ask yourself:

• Is alcohol truly serving you? 

• Is it really helping you relax and decompress, or is it just temporarily numbing your feelings, and then causing anxiety and guilt? 

• Is your headspace starting to fill up with thoughts about your drinking, and shame for how you’ve let it get out of control?

It’s so easy to get caught in the guilt/shame/drinking cycle. A stressful day causes you to reach for alcohol. Then you feel guilty about how much you drank. Then you numb that guilt with more drinking, and feel shame for your inability to handle it all. The cycle continues, getting harder and harder to break. 

Breaking the cycle

Breaking free from this cycle takes awareness, compassion, and small steps. You can’t fix it overnight. You have to decide that you want to change, that you’re ready to listen to that wise inner voice telling you that alcohol is no longer serving you. You have to really find your WHY, and set your goals accordingly. The journey looks different for everyone.

You don't have to immediately stop drinking. In fact, mindful drinking can be a huge step in the sober curious journey (I spent years in this stage!). Taking note of your habits and triggers creates the self-awareness that fuels your progress. Once you're aware of what's driving you to drink, you can start to address these issues.

The key to lasting change is taking small steps forward. Add in some stress-relieving activities like exercise, walking, or being in nature. Find relaxation in yoga or meditation. Practice gratitude journaling or mindfulness. The options are endless - you just need to find what works for you. You need to learn how to manage the feelings you've been using alcohol to numb. This takes work, but you are STRONG.

You don’t need to hit a rock bottom, or be an alcoholic to decide you deserve better. You’re already here, you’ve already started your journey. What next small step can you take?

If this resonates with you, please reach out. I am truly here to help you. Book a free call, or just send me an email to chat.

-Jess